{"id":142,"date":"2021-11-04T09:52:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-04T09:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/?p=142"},"modified":"2024-11-04T10:10:26","modified_gmt":"2024-11-04T10:10:26","slug":"xeni-irvini-dhe-schopenhaueri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/xeni-irvini-dhe-schopenhaueri\/","title":{"rendered":"Xeni, Irvini dhe Schopenhaueri"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

nga Malisa Zymberi<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Isha n\u2019autobus p\u00ebr n\u00eb qytetin e Gjakov\u00ebs, qytet ky 122 kilometra nga vendlindja ime \u2014 \u201cDy polet m\u00eb t\u2019larg\u00ebta t\u2019Kosov\u00ebs\u201d ia dha pak Babi. Kisha vendos\u00eb t\u2019a pranoj nji pun\u00eb kaq larg\u00eb, vetem t\u2019i jepja sado pak ndjesi jet\u00ebs \u2014 \u00e7\u00e2shtje qefi. Gjithmon\u00eb m\u2019p\u00eblqente t\u00eb ikja prej rutin\u00ebs, njer\u00ebzve dhe prejardhjes time. E kisha t\u00eb domosdoshme, shpesh dhe me urgjenc\u00eb. Strehim n\u00eb vendet ku sigurohesha q\u00eb s\u2019do e njoh ask\u00ebnd; e qytetetet s\u2019do t\u00eb dinin p\u00ebr ekzistenc\u00ebn time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00ebrderisa autobusi kishte marr\u00eb rrug\u00eb, k\u00e2nga \u201cRrobi plaket kur doj\u00eb vet\u00eb\u201d nga zani i lart\u00ebmadh\u00ebris\u00eb  Xeni ish\u2019 tu shku\u2019 n\u00eb radio, ku kjo e fundit e rritke dhe m\u00e2 shum\u00eb irritimin ndaj kujtes\u00ebs s\u00eb dob\u00ebt q\u00eb kisha. Kufjet p\u00ebr muzik\u00eb edhe k\u00ebsaj here mu ishin tret\u2019 diku ku truni as nuk mund t\u2019a imagjinonte, e nevoja p\u00ebr to n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb moment ishte e njejt\u00eb sa edhe ajo e frym\u00ebmarrjes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00eb krejt k\u00ebt\u00eb tragji-komedi, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019e dija se n\u00eb \u00e7ant\u00ebn e madhe me tesha q\u00eb kisha marr\u00eb prej sht\u00ebpis\u00eb s\u00eb prind\u00ebrve fshihej libri q\u00eb po i ikja me jav\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra. Lib\u00ebr ky q\u00eb kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00e2 shum\u00eb kilometra se sa Opel Astra \u201999 e babit tim. M\u00eb ironikja, libri ishte dhurat\u00eb p\u00ebr dit\u00eblindje nga shoqja ime e zemr\u00ebs, si mesazh q\u00eb transmetonte nj\u00eb k\u00ebrkes\u00eb t\u00eb vetme \u2014 p\u00ebrballjen!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E nxorra librin nga \u00e7anta, e mblodha vet\u00ebn dhe vendosa t\u2019a lexoj njiher\u2019 e mir\u00eb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u00c7do frymemarrje e jona largon tutje vdekjen q\u00eb vazhdimisht na kanoset\u201d, <\/em>shkruan Irvin Yalom n\u00eb paragrafin hyr\u00ebs t\u00eb librit \u2018Kura e Shopenhauer\u2019<\/em>, \u201c... n\u00eb fund vdekja duhet t\u00eb triumfoj\u00eb, pasi q\u00eb n\u00eb lindje b\u00ebhet fati yn\u00eb dhe luan me pren\u00eb e saj vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr pak koh\u00eb p\u00ebrpara se ta gllab\u00ebroj\u00eb.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Morra frym\u00eb thell\u2019 me hund\u00eb dhe e l\u00ebshova leht\u00eb nga goja. As z\u00e2ni tundues i Xeni-t, e as muhabetet e zhurmshme koti, nuk kishin m\u00eb fuqi t\u2019a ngacmonin ndonji shqis\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019m\u00eb b\u00ebnte bile pak es\u00ebll prej k\u00ebtij paragrafi. Irvini \u2014 ishte autori i vet\u00ebm q\u00eb n\u00eb secilin lib\u00ebr t\u00eb tij kish\u2019 sfidu m\u00e2 t\u00eb madhin ankth n\u00eb jet\u00eb q\u00eb kisha: VDEKJ\u00cbN. \u201cKura e Schopenhauer\u201d ishte libri i kat\u00ebrt i tij q\u00eb po e lexoja, mir\u00ebpo asnj\u00ebri lib\u00ebr tjet\u00ebr nuk i del p\u00ebrball\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs s\u00eb vdekj\u00ebs kaq direkt sa ky:  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cE megjithat\u00eb ne vazhdojm\u00eb t\u00eb jetojm\u00eb sa m\u00eb gjat\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb e mundur me interes t\u00eb madh dhe shum\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesje ashtu sikurse fryjm\u00eb nj\u00eb flusk\u00eb sapuni sa m\u00eb gjat\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb e mundur, megjith\u00ebse e dim\u00eb me siguri absolute q\u00eb do t\u00eb p\u00eblcas\u00eb<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

E mbylla librin p\u00ebr pak minuta dhe fillova t\u2019i kacavirrem secilit kujtim q\u00eb mendoja q\u00eb kish\u2019 kontribu n\u00eb krijimin e k\u00ebtij ankthi. Terapistja ime e asaj kohe thoshte q\u00eb jan\u00eb manifestime t\u00eb traumave nga periudha e luft\u00ebs, apo si\u00e7 njihet n\u00eb termet psikologjike, PTSD. Prind\u00ebrit e mi ishin t\u00eb sigurt\u00eb q\u00eb vinte nga p\u00ebrjetimi i t\u00ebrmetit q\u00eb kishte ndodhur n\u00eb qytetin tim kur isha ve\u00e7 10 vje\u00e7. Nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb, pavar\u00ebsisht q\u00eb kisha studiuar psikologji p\u00ebr tre vite, e kisha vizituar terapist\u00eb t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm… isha ende pa p\u00ebrgjigjie!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Qytete t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm n\u00ebp\u00ebr t\u2019cil\u00ebt isha struk\u00eb nd\u00ebr vite nuk m\u2019kishin ndihmu me i ik\u00eb k\u00ebtij ankthi; por t\u2019i fshihem, po. Me t\u00eb isha ballafaquar n\u00eb qytete ku kilometra t\u2019pak\u00ebt e ndanin kufirin prej flak\u00ebve t\u00eb luft\u00ebs. Ishte prezent p\u00ebrkund\u00ebr rehatis\u00eb n\u00eb err\u00ebsir\u00ebn e pafundme skandinave. Nuk i ikja dot as pas zhytjes n\u00eb vendet ku mitet dhe zotrat vazhdonin t\u00eb udh\u00ebheqnin qenien. Uria t\u00eb njoftoj njer\u00ebz t\u00eb rinj m\u2019ndihmonte t\u2019a harroja, por asnjher\u00eb t\u2019a zhdukja. P\u00ebrplasjet plot pasion me trupa t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm n\u00eb p\u00ebrjetim t\u00eb s\u00eb p\u00ebrtejshm\u00ebs, gjat\u00eb kthimit mbrapa, shpesh e rritke edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb ankthin. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Autobusi po ecte diku 80 kilometra n\u00eb or\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb po p\u00ebrjetoja nji luft\u00eb t\u00eb shum\u00ebfisht\u00eb: Xenin, kujtes\u00ebn e dob\u00ebt, ankthin nga vdekja, p\u00ebrballjen me Irvinin, k\u00ebshillat nga terapistja ime, komentet epike t\u00eb prind\u00ebrve\u2026 the whole package<\/em>! T\u2019kisha ardh\u00eb ve\u00e7 gjys\u00ebm ore m\u00eb von\u00eb, sigurisht q\u00eb do merrja autobus tjet\u00ebr, do kishte muzik\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb, vuajtja p\u00ebr kufje s\u2019do e trazonte egzistenc\u00ebn time, libri do vazhdonte rrug\u00ebtimin n\u00ebp\u00ebr \u00e7anta e rafte t\u00eb ndryshme, terapistja ime do mbetej nji amerikane e lezetshme, nd\u00ebrsa fiolozofia e vdekjes as s\u2019do t\u00eb b\u00ebhej fjal\u00eb t\u2019a p\u00ebrkdhelte qenien time! Por tash ishim k\u00ebtu, n\u00eb hymje t\u00eb stacionit t\u00eb autobus\u00ebve… Kisha vet\u00ebm nji zgjidhje: vakumimin e k\u00ebtij ankthi t\u00eb mallkuar ta p\u00ebrmbysja me rradh\u00eb t\u00eb gotave t\u00eb rakis\u00eb s\u00eb rrushit p\u00ebrgjat\u00eb net\u00ebve t\u00eb gjata n\u00ebp\u00ebr qoshet e \u00c7arshis\u00eb s\u00eb Vjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Malisa Zymberi<\/strong> ka p\u00ebrfunduar studimet n\u00eb psikologji dhe punon si psikologe p\u00ebr refugjat\u00eb dhe azil k\u00ebrkues n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb. Me shkru p\u00ebr ndjenjat, p\u00ebrjetimet dhe ngjarjet \u2014 Malisa e sheh si arm\u00ebn m\u00e2 t\u00eb fuqishme n\u00eb procesimin e tyre.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Xeni, Irvini dhe Schopenhaueri | nga Malisa Zymberi<\/p>\n

<><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":173,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-nonfiction","category-personal-essay"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/Malisa-ps-background.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=142"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":175,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142\/revisions\/175"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}