{"id":20,"date":"2021-05-12T14:32:45","date_gmt":"2021-05-12T14:32:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/?p=20"},"modified":"2026-02-16T09:21:35","modified_gmt":"2026-02-16T09:21:35","slug":"pasthirrma-moderne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/pasthirrma-moderne\/","title":{"rendered":"Pasthirrma moderne"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

nga Antigon\u00eb Isufi<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

E ulur n\u00eb karrigen e mo\u00e7me shekullore, kupa me ver\u00eb po m\u2019i mbush alveolet me gjak. Un\u00eb po ngulfatem, e pasthirrmat jasht\u00eb mode po shoq\u00ebrojn\u00eb melodik\u00ebn e gramafonit antik. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nga kati p\u00ebrdhes\u00eb d\u00ebgjohen pallavra mashkullore. Po flasin p\u00ebr \u201cep\u00ebrsin\u00eb\u201d e tyre ndaj bot\u00ebs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Disa burra flasin, se nuk din\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019flasin. Mendojn\u00eb q\u00eb bota p\u00ebrb\u00ebhet nga energjia testosteroniane. Ca flasin p\u00ebr superioritetin e tyre ndaj grave, e ca p\u00ebr politik\u00ebn bolshevike. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Po mos t\u00eb m\u00eb rr\u00ebzohej kupa, me siguri do ia d\u00ebrgoja ca gota me ver\u00eb. T\u00eb pakt\u00ebn t\u00eb flasin gjepura si t\u00eb pir\u00eb, se es\u00ebll nuk durohen dot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

II<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shkall\u00ebt deri tek banesa e tyre, m\u2019u duk\u00ebn p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsi. Krismat e takave ma turbullonin lukthin e mbushur me alkool. U l\u00ebshova atje posht\u00eb, ku m\u00eb pas nuk do ngjitem dot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shkall\u00ebve tat\u00ebpjet\u00eb dihatjet u ndal\u00ebn, por mua m\u2019u shtua d\u00ebshira q\u00eb ata njer\u00ebz mos t\u2019i shoh t\u00eb dalin t\u00eb gjall\u00eb nga aty. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do e marr shtruar<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Takat m\u00eb ishin shuar. Me nj\u00ebr\u00ebn dor\u00eb kisha kapur mentesh\u00ebn e der\u00ebs prej nga jehonin pasthirrmat, e me tjetr\u00ebn mbaja kup\u00ebn boshe. S\u2019i dua arm\u00ebt, por kup\u00ebn e mbaja t\u00eb kungoja n\u00eb \u201cdark\u00ebn e fundit\u201d. T\u2019i heshtja 12 apostujt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

III<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Se ndoshta harrova t\u00eb prezantohem. Jam Mara e pa mbiem\u00ebr, kryefjal\u00eb e Minskut bjellorus. Shpesh m\u00eb d\u00ebgjohen tak-tuket e takave rrug\u00ebs, por m\u00eb shpesh i d\u00ebgjoj pasthirrmat kat-kat mbi at\u00eb p\u00ebrdhes\u00eb, n\u00eb apartamentin num\u00ebr dy. Kati posht\u00eb m\u00eb l\u00eb pa jet\u00eb bashk\u00ebshortore, e kati lart\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb mendoj q\u00eb ende ka dyzim jet\u00ebsh e duhet t\u00eb i dhuroj bot\u00ebs p\u00ebrs\u00ebri nj\u00eb fryt t\u00eb ri. Zhurma e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve trazon katet e qiellin nj\u00ebherazi. Por, mua kjo nuk m\u00eb pengon fare, p\u00ebrkundrazi m\u00eb jep jet\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb e treqind e gjasht\u00ebdhjet\u00eb e pesta dit\u00eb prej q\u00eb banoj n\u00eb apartamentin n\u00eb fjal\u00eb dhe e treqind e gjasht\u00ebdhjet\u00eb e kat\u00ebrta prej kur \u201ct\u00eb shenjt\u00ebruarit\u201d e dark\u00ebs s\u00eb fundit tet\u00eb minuta para mesnat\u00ebs bordelizojn\u00eb mashkullorisht. Nuk ndalen me shkarje deri nj\u00eb \u00e7erek para or\u00ebs pes\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebngjesit. T\u00eb ulur n\u00eb tavolin\u00ebn ovale me or\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra kjo \u201cshoq\u00ebri e fshehur\u201d ta \u00e7an\u00eb kok\u00ebn me biseda q\u00eb fyejn\u00eb inteligjenc\u00ebn. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

T\u00eb dymb\u00ebdhjetit sot ma m\u00ebsuan nj\u00eb m\u00ebsim jet\u00ebsor: Pas treqind e gjasht\u00ebdhjet\u00eb e kat\u00ebr dit\u00ebve e kuptova fantazin\u00eb djall\u00ebzore t\u00eb disa burrave, pa qen\u00eb n\u00ebn shtres\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb t\u00eb l\u00ebkur\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre. I d\u00ebgjoja kur llomotisnin dhe n\u00eb intervalet e heshtjes e \u201crr\u00ebzoja kup\u00ebn\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IV<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tre prej 12 hajvan\u00ebve tru-konserv\u00eb, rreth t\u00eb kat\u00ebrdhjetave, po grimosin me p\u00ebshtym\u00eb muret e ngushta t\u00eb bodrumit \u201cbordello\u201d. Nj\u00eb dhom\u00eb e ngusht\u00eb ngulfat\u00ebse, e kapluar nga myku dhe aroma e puros meksikane, e mbushur me postera pornografik, e me drita t\u00eb zbehta. E n\u00ebnt\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt po shijonin me k\u00ebrsh\u00ebri dogmat e shok\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre q\u00eb dilnin t\u00eb p\u00ebshtir\u00eb para p\u00ebshtymosjes, t\u00eb p\u00ebrcjellura me pasthirrma klith\u00ebse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHahahah, ve\u00e7 paramendoni miq\u201d, thoshte Pjetri n\u00ebn erozionin e pasthirrmave, \u201ct\u00eb lidh\u00ebsh me zinxhir\u00eb gruan n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e fjetjes, e n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e ndjenj\u00ebs t\u00eb d\u00ebgjosh shp\u00ebrthekimet e dhjet\u00eb zinxhir\u00ebve t\u00eb fustaneve t\u00eb 15 vje\u00e7areve. I mbajta me zor p\u00ebr pes\u00eb dit\u00eb radhazi, e sot m\u00eb jan\u00eb shnd\u00ebrruar n\u00eb rob\u00ebresha t\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsis\u00eb. K\u00ebrkojn\u00eb dit\u00ebn e gjasht\u00eb t\u00eb shijojn\u00eb qiellin e shtat\u00eb.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMik, nuk po na e sjell gruan ta m\u00ebsojm\u00eb pak t\u00eb b\u00ebhet 15 vje\u00e7are\u201d, iu kthye rrufesh\u00ebm Paskali. \u201cKu ta di, ndoshta i p\u00eblqen t\u00eb rrethohet me nj\u00ebmb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb zinxhir\u00eb t\u00eb rinj\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me t\u00eb qeshura miratuese klithin dhjet\u00eb djajt\u00eb e tjer\u00eb. Ia kishte \u00ebnda t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve t\u00eb shp\u00ebrthekonin patent\u00ebt n\u00ebn t\u00eb cil\u00ebt fshiheshin burra t\u00eb pa burr\u00ebri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do i djegi.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Por nuk l\u00ebviza. Ruajta qet\u00ebsin\u00eb edhe pse e pir\u00eb. Prisja momentin. P\u00ebr 12 vite kisha jetuar si jobesimtare, por n\u00eb at\u00eb moment isha n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb shnd\u00ebrrohesha n\u00eb mot\u00ebr nderi vet\u00ebm q\u00eb t\u00eb lutem p\u00ebr pak durim. Mornicat m\u00eb ishin ngritur, nuk q\u00ebndroja dot si guri posht\u00eb livadhit. P\u00ebrderisa n\u00eb mendjet e tyre boshe kal\u00ebronin fantazi dhunuese e posht\u00ebruese, brenda qenies time kal\u00ebronin d\u00ebshira vrasjeje. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Energji vrastare brenda unit t\u00eb nj\u00eb paqeruajt\u00ebseje\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

V<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ora dy e pes\u00ebmb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb minuta. Dora ime akoma mbante shtr\u00ebnguar m\u00ebnteshen, nd\u00ebrsa po e p\u00ebrk\u00ebdheli me fytyr\u00eb der\u00ebn e jashtme t\u00eb atij apartamenti, e po i shurdhoj vesh\u00ebt me pallitje. Kam plan. Nuk dua ta shpalos. Prisni, se ka di\u00e7ka t\u00eb pashkruar. Akoma nuk ju kam treguar t\u00eb gjitha. E di, shpesh harroj t\u2019ju p\u00ebrmendi detaje ky\u00e7e.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dera e mbyllur hermetikisht m\u00eb parandalon t\u00eb hyj\u00eb brenda, por m\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb parandalojn\u00eb aft\u00ebsit\u00eb e mija. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ata vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebllasin e shkumojn\u00eb ma shum\u00eb se lop\u00ebt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me \u00e7do fund fjale t\u00eb tyre, e me secilin fund sekonde po m\u00eb ndizet d\u00ebshira dostojevskiane \u2014 krim e nd\u00ebshkim. Raskolnikovi vrau p\u00ebr t\u00eb dominuar, e un\u00eb do t\u00eb vras p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbijetuar. Bota i duron por toka nuk i mban dot faqezinjt\u00eb. Krim pa nd\u00ebshkim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKa dit\u00eb q\u00eb mendoj ta zhvirgj\u00ebroj\u00eb katin m\u00eb lart\u00eb\u201d, tha Stefani. \u201cKam par\u00eb nj\u00eb dit\u00eb at\u00eb zogz\u00ebn, flok\u00eb-g\u00ebshtenj\u00eb e cila ishte ankuar p\u00ebr ne n\u00eb komisariat. Nuk kam \u00e7are pa ia djeg\u00eb l\u00ebkur\u00ebn me cigare, edhe po t\u00eb vdeksha sonte. Po vdes t\u00eb ia dhunoj edhe syrin e zi. E n\u00ebse m\u00eb ndihmoni edhe ju, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb nuk do iu qerasja me nga nj\u00eb birr\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAhh at\u00eb, por si jo more mik\u201d, iu kthye Pjetri. \u201cDo e veshja duke e zhveshur. M\u00ebkat m\u00eb qoft\u00eb jeta n\u00ebse nuk do e mbysja brenda or\u00ebs me fuqin\u00eb time shtazarake. A e ke par\u00eb si ec\u00ebn rrug\u00ebs sikur bota \u00ebsht\u00eb e saja; e ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb e imja. Ato k\u00ebmb\u00ebt e gjata nuk ia fali Krishti kot: vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb ia thyer un\u00eb me afsh\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJo, Pjet\u00ebr, jo. Rri ti edhe ca dit\u00eb kruaja shpin\u00ebn 15 vje\u00e7areve. Zonjat e pjekura l\u00ebrm\u00ebni mua. Ti e di q\u00eb adhuroj t\u00eb godas kockat e zonjave t\u00eb r\u00ebnda. Se asaj nuk ia shp\u00ebrthekoj zinxhirin, jo. Asaj, mik, do ia pushtoj trupin me grushta.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadist\u00eb t\u00eb f\u00eblliqur.<\/em> As mbi trupin tim t\u00eb vdekur. As mbi kockat e mija t\u00eb thara, e as mbi sekondat e ndalura n\u00eb neuronet e mija. Shp\u00ebrthekova zinxhirin e takave t\u00eb mija, hapa der\u00ebn leht\u00eb-leht\u00eb dhe u futa brenda dhom\u00ebs e cila t\u00eb qelbte er\u00eb birre p\u00ebrzier me cigare. N\u00eb dor\u00eb kisha kup\u00ebn e n\u00eb tjetr\u00ebn dor\u00eb vet\u00ebm gisht\u00ebrinjt\u00eb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pasiq\u00eb hyra n\u00eb apartament, kalova paradhom\u00ebn e cila shpinte tek ta…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

VI<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mu duk si vegim. I hapa syt\u00eb dhe pash\u00eb veten brenda nj\u00eb dhome. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00ebmb\u00ebt nuk i ndjeja. Syt\u00eb m\u00eb ishin mbushur lot, e zemra m\u00eb rrihte fort. Nuk ndjeja asgj\u00eb p\u00ebrpos lot\u00ebve t\u00eb nxeht\u00eb tek rrjedhin n\u00eb lugun e faqeve t\u00eb mija. E vetme n\u00eb nj\u00eb dhom\u00eb t\u00eb rrethuar me mure t\u00eb bardha dhe me nj\u00eb dritare miniatur\u00eb. Tavani i dhom\u00ebs ngjyr\u00eb gri ma p\u00ebrdhunoi kujtes\u00ebn. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nuk d\u00ebgjoja hapa as z\u00ebra. Fyti m\u00eb ishte kallur nga etja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kush jam? Ku jam? Pse jam? Kur jam?<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Britja por nuk d\u00ebgjohesha dot. Z\u00ebri m\u00eb ishte mekur n\u00eb fyt. Pash\u00eb gishtat e k\u00ebmb\u00ebve t\u00eb mija q\u00eb ishin mbushur t\u00eb dhjetit me kap\u00ebse p\u00ebr tharjen e rrobave. Shikova anash dhe syri m\u00eb kapi nj\u00eb mbishkrim n\u00eb der\u00eb \u201c\u041f\u0441\u0456\u0445\u0456\u044f\u0442\u0440\u044b\u0447\u043d\u044b \u0446\u044d\u043d\u0442\u0440-\u0411\u0440\u044d\u0441\u0442 \u201d. Qendra Psikiatrike n\u00eb Brest?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKu jaaaam? Ju lutem! Ju lutem nj\u00eb pik\u00eb uj\u00eb! Nuk ndjej frym\u00ebmarrjen. M\u00eb jan\u00eb prer\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00ebt\u201d, brita me aq z\u00eb sa m\u00eb kishte mbetur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00ebr nj\u00eb moment mendova se kam vdekur dhe p\u00ebr momentin po gjendesha n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e     tejp\u00ebrtejme t\u00eb cil\u00ebn nuk e besoja q\u00eb ekzistonte. A thua vall\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb kam b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb gjendem k\u00ebtu? A \u00ebsht\u00eb ky ferri, purgatori, apo parajsa e Dante Aligerit? Apo mos m\u00eb ka humbur spiranca e jam zhdukur n\u00eb horizont? Pse jam? Kush jam? Dua t\u00eb dal. Pse i kam duart e lidhura?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNdihm\u00eb\u00eb\u00eb! Ju lutem m\u00eb nxjerrni nga k\u00ebtu\u201d, iu drejtova dhom\u00ebs s\u00eb mbushur me vakuum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nuk m\u00eb kujtohej e sotmja. Nuk m\u00eb kujtohej e djeshmja. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vegim…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Antigon\u00eb Isufi aktualisht \u00ebsht\u00eb studente e vitit t\u00eb tret\u00eb n\u00eb Departamentin e Gazetaris\u00eb n\u00eb Universitetin e Prishtin\u00ebs. Ka nj\u00eb vit e gjysm\u00eb q\u00eb punon si gazetare n\u00eb BIRN Kosova. Antigona merret me shkrime nga fusha e let\u00ebrsis\u00eb q\u00eb nga mosha 11 vje\u00e7are.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pasthirrma moderne | nga Antigon\u00eb Isufi<\/p>\n

Nga kati p\u00ebrdhes\u00eb d\u00ebgjohen pallavra mashkullore. Po flasin p\u00ebr \u201cep\u00ebrsin\u00eb\u201d e tyre ndaj bot\u00ebs. Po mos t\u00eb m\u00eb rr\u00ebzohej kupa, me siguri do ia d\u00ebrgoja ca gota me ver\u00eb. T\u00eb pakt\u00ebn t\u00eb flasin gjepura si t\u00eb pir\u00eb, se es\u00ebll nuk durohen dot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-fiction"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/PASTHIRRMA-MODERNE..png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":119,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions\/119"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storylab.al\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}